Big girls like toys too! Part 3

More toys.  So I ignorantly share with Assclown that I had a male friend over and he was currently washing my dishes and about to take out my garbage like a man with time and the ability to give attention does.  HA!  (This is another story, I'll get there one of these days...)  Anyway, here comes the questions.  Who?  Why?  Are you sleeping with him?
No, no, no.  As long as I am the 'lover' these questions are irrelevant.  Actually, he is cool peoples who happens to enjoy my company, and never fails to bring exotic marijuana to the table.  He fits right in for now, as I am re-exploring my burn-outness.  Assclown now expresses his 'concern' for me and my increasing reefer smoking.  Pssshht.  I don't think so buddy. 

Here come the texts 3 hrs later

AC: I just called you, you didn't answer.  Are you busy?
Oh, now this motherfucker wanna act like he doesn't know me, and how much I despise STUPID questions.  Stupid questions deserve stupid answers.
ME:  (hour later) Yes, as a matter of fact, I am busy.  I was just feeding my pet monkey.

Crickets.

So of course, he is concerned about me having a male friend at the house, and asks to stop by.  How bout later?  "I'm gonna stop at the toy store for goodies..."

Big girls like toys too! Part 2

Read part one HERE.
Of course, Mr. MD Assclown can't let it go down like that.  He could never leave me unsatisfied.  After some work on my behalf, I was able to have him rise back up to the occasion.  I threw him back, and stretched the Double Screaming O cockring over his shaft and balls.  He quivered.  I hopped on top an grinded my way to a quaking orgasm.  It didn't happen immediately, unfortunately.  As I smacked my supple ass back and forth, and tensed my vaginal walls with each thrust, my perky titties ended up in his mouth with each movement forward.  I found myself dreaming about my sexcapade with C.O. and how my mind blowing O came into fruition when he BIT my NIPS!
"Bite my nipples, Baby.  No!  Harder!  I said BITE them, harder!  Harder!"

God, I hate when people can't follow simple directions!


 
He finally nibbled on them with just the right intensity and I blasted off and squirted my honeysuckle juices all over his writhing cock, and he followed suit. Thank you very much.  I loved how the vibes from the ring sent aftershocks of barely tolerant bliss throughout my whole body.

Next stop: Pillow talk
ME: So...why wouldn't you just BITE my fuggin nipples like I begged you to?
AC: Well, I don't wanna hurt you baby, I don't wanna inflict pain.
ME:  Seriously??  MAN UP!  I WANTED that!  Besides, you FUCK me in the ASS don't you?  That is the lamest excuse ever!
AC:  Hahaha true.  Ok baby, you got it.  Ok so we gotta order our next set of toys.
ME: Yes, I want my RABBIT.  ASAP.
AC:  Ok, so your pink rabbit, and I want a good cock ring, that will hopefully prevent me from prematurely blowing my load.  Since it is taking forever for us to find a time to go to the shop together...lets just order online.  You find it, and I will just give you my credit card info.
ME:  Sounds good to me.  I will pay for rush shipping!

Ok, fantastic.  But I wonder if he realizes he is purchasing his replacement?  Also, I wonder how upset he would get if I did a little extra 'me' shopping with his numbers??

Can't wait for my new pet rabbit to arrive.  Big girls love toys too.

Big girls like toys too! Part I

I've mentioned the 'loss of fizzle' in previous posts.  When it comes to anything that excites, it is also likely to disappoint.  I also mentioned my purchase of anal beads and impatient frenzy about them.   I really wanted this to be a good thing. 

Of course, Assclown is DAYS late.  Whole, long, pussy pulsating with intolerant anticipation kind of days.  However, I needed a release, so I graciously accepted the offer of a full body, hot oil rub down and a serendipity orgasm.

He texts me to come to the door.  He hasn't even gotten out of the car yet.  Inconsiderate a-hole.  He meets me on the couch and complements me on my hair.  Aww...but I think its kinda gay he noticed the asymmetrical mastery of my bangs.

Skip the friggin small talk.  Its really overplayed. But I must play nice.




We finally make our way to the bedroom, and I toss him my red satin bag of tricks, complete with my new purchases.  I swear, you could actually see the gleaming excitement radiating from his large hands as he ruffled through the bag and tossed the anal beads on the comforter.  He popped open the package and asked me to go wash it. 

Game on!  We begin to get busy.  He grabs the cherry lube and goes for my ass .  In the heat of the moment, I didn't have the heart to tell him the beads were for HIM.  Part of the excitement fizzled right there.  He pops them in and immediately pulls them out.  Although I'm very stimulated by this point, there wasn't too much to it.  It was kinda, well, blah.  I instruct him to put them back in, then go down on me and pull them out at the very moment of my climax.  He likes this idea.

He slithers down my smooth, milky thighs and flicks his tongue over my throbbing clitoris.  I moan with appreciation.
YES!  I am a lucky bitch.  Mmm I love the way he devours me.
 My back arches.  My quickening pants let him know I'm just about there.  He comes up and mounts me.
Fuck!  I was almost there!
He thruts me deep and completely.  I grind back and begin to release, and here it cummssssss...
BAM!  He pulls out and nuts right on my slit.  I reach down and attempt to rub the juices around my anxious pussy and make my way into oblivion.
Thanks a fucking lot.  For almost nothing.
He grabs a vibe bullet and attempts to bring it out my final blast of wetness.  No can do.  I beg for him to FUCK me.  I mean after all, I could do all the playing with toys shit on my own.  And get it done a lot faster.

AND...he forgot all about the anal beads dangling out of my ass.
I guess its my fault for getting over excited to play with toys.  Kind of like that toy you wanted sooooo bad because it looked so fucking awesome on a commercial, but really was waste of unbiodegradable space.  The excitement fizzled.  And it was beginning to look like the my romance with Mr. Assclown was going to twirl its way down the drain as well.  If he can't even make me explode anymore...

 

Back to assclown...

Yes, I reneged again.  With assclown. So it goes. 


After receiving happy holiday wishes from him consistently three days later throughout the HoHoHo season, I decided enough was enough.  He is, in fact, an assclown.  However, I asked him to 'borrow' some money because the season really took a bite out of my single mommy's budget.  He replied with a resounding yes, "sure no problem baby, I'll hit you up on pay day."
Payday comes and goes, not response...gee theres a surprise.

Then I remembered, my new years resolution was not to take any more shit.  And, not be a slut, really.  So I called his bluff.

ME:  Just gonna ignore my texts huh?
AC:  No, just have been busy with the kids and whats her name, you know what i mean?
ME:  Whatever, excuses.  You phony, you fake, thats the type of people I hate.
AC:  What-ever.  Lol
ME:  No, I'm serious like a myocardial infarction.  Ive had enough of you and your excuses, so either make the time or just forget about it.
ME:  You suck.  Im done with you.  It aint about the money either.  Its just you.  You are a hinderance to my progression.
AC:  REally, im sorry I'll bring it over Saturday.

Ok, a few more exchanges where I was really mean.  And he was kinda persistent.  Until he said "goodbye."  He said, it was "sweet" knowing you, I love you and take care.

It crushed me.  Why can't I do the goodbye thing gracefully?

So ultimately, I let him come over.  Like it never happened.  And of course, we had mind blowing sex a few times over that week, complete with flavored lubes and juicy moments of passion.   But I was disturbed by something...

Pretty pointless.

Well, the week has been pretty stressful and busy, so this will be an aimless post just to pass some time.  I am currently working on a piece with some more substance...but haven't gotten very far as of yet.  Anywho...
Assclown has attempting to be social lately...with the "i just wanted to say hi" texts.  I can't help but feel that is so phony and pointless.  I am soooo past considering what we have is anything more than fuck buddy status...so its like dude-just hit me up when you are asking to come over.
Assclown hits me up Friday "What are you doing tonight?"
I hardly think that is any of his effin business!

Me: I don't have any plans yet.
AC:  I would love to do something with you tonight.
Me: Oh yeah, like what?
AC: Idk movies maybe,  it will have to be late night b/c I have the kids.
Me: Ok, thats possible.  How late is late?  Also, I would like to be upfront with you.  I had a procedure yesterday and can not have sex for a week.  I won't be mad if you dont want to chill, just keep it 100.
AC: What happened?  Are you Ok?
Me:  I had a biopsy, so if I don't have cancer, Im ok.  So are we hanging out tonight or not?

No reply for about an hour...

AC:  Oh shit, I forgot I have a family party in DC tonight, but maybe I'll leave early.

WHAT A FUCKIN DOUCHE!!!  THE POOR MAN CANT EVEN KEEP IT REAL!
WOMP FUCKIN WOMP



He is seriously not capable of just keeping it real.  I am realistic in the fact that all we really share is good sex, and that is the only thing I am ok with.  Why does he have to justify it more to himself and be phony to me?  I saw him the next day at a football event.  Our sons play in the same league.  We said hi, said bye and that was about it.  But why does seeing him bring forth thoughts about him?? That idea makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little bit.  He later told me that seeing me out and about made him "tingle."  He said his friend noticed his ancyness and asked who I was, and if he could find out.  He told him, "yeah, remember my outta town trips to see a girl..."  His friend replies "yeah, I would go there for that too.  Nice."  Thank ya very much.

  A friend and I went out for dinner and some drinks afterwards. I was such a downer, because I couldn't help but obsess on the fact that I was going home to an empty house.  I was upset with myself for getting a babysitter for the night simply because we had discussed possibly getting together later that evening. During a moment of weakness, I text him with a simple "yo".
He replied with "I cant do anything tonight.  Sorry"  Hmph.

On a side note...I went out with LegalAid early on in the week for some drinks and convo.  He invited me back to his place for a drink and I hesitantly accepted.   During the short ride to his house, I chanted to myself.  Be a lady, do not sex him, be a lady do not sex him.  It was actually really nice.  I didnt feel pressured at all.  We went as far as a nice kiss.  And it was super nice, I mean perfect rhythm, depth ect.  I was giddy like a freakin school girl.  I couldn't help but imagine that if a first kiss was that good, how great could other things be? 
His apartment was nicely appointed and spotless despite having young kids at home.  I used the bathroom through the master suite, and had a chance to be a little nosy.  Jacuzzi, check.  Closet? Business attired arranged according to color.  No trace of  female inhabitants.  Bed made, and looking super comphy.  I must have had a smirk on my face when I came out cuz he asked me what was on my mind.  The tipsiness we were both experiencing surely added to apparent sexual tension that was almost thick enough to be carved with a knife.  We ended the evening with discussing when we could get together again.  He said "you have my number, use it."  Hmm...
I took a chance later in the week on Thursday and asked if he'd like to do something.  He said that he had a real limited window of availability, so I told him to give me a call next week if he'd like to get into something.

LA:  Will do, have a nice weekend.
Me:  I sure will, you too.

So Friday comes around...and he texts me out of the blue..."Have a nice weekend."  I have a problem taking this at face value.  To me, it kinda says "dont call or text me this weekend," which I don't do anyway.  Could it simply be wishes to enjoy my weekend?  Maybe I am biased...I frequently come across losers who are unavailable.  I guess...time will tell.  What do you think?

Reneged

(Caution: moderately detailed sexcapade below.  Read with caution) 
 
Ok, I reneged my deal to be done with him. But if I didn't, I wouldnt be Mz. Indecisive. Assclown managed to hit me up the day after the Thanksgiving weekend to wish me a happy Thanksgiving.  (Seriously??Assclown?)  BTW...the term 'assclown' comes from the blog "Baggagereclaim" so I must give credit where credit is due.  Anyway, he revealed that he had been dreaming about me and is jonesing to taste me.  Mhm.  Although I am disgusted at his true degree of assclownism...a few texts had me almost creampie in my panties.  The very thought of the naughty things we do had that pussy poppin beyond my control.  Eventually...I agreed to let him come over last night.  He took fuckin forever.  I just wanted to get it over with already.  The anticipation of doing my dumb deed was getting the best of me.

He finally texts me to tell me he was on his way, but wanted to stop somewhere for some flavor lubes.  Pina Colada mmm mmm good my fav.  I was diggin it.  He knows that I just happen to give better than average head, but add in flavor, and it goes to mind blowing.  After stopping at a few stores, and driving by a few that were closed...he finally showed up...with a box of assorted condoms.  Yea.  Note my sarcasm.

So here I've been waiting and ready to go...clothes off, ipod playlist selected, candle lit...and he needs to get in the shower?!?!  Is this the fuckin YMCA?  Don't get me wrong, I appreciate a clean cock...but I was ready at 9am.  I have yet to master the sublime practice of delayed gratification.  I am entirely too impatient.  I should have broken out Mr. Wiggles and did this myself!

So he gets in bed and dives in between my legs like godiva.  YES!  I've been dreaming about this.  I wouldn't allow him to go inside until I had a chance to put my work in...and worship the cock with my mouth.  He seductively asked me to touch myself for his enjoyment.  I graciously complied and could see the appreciation of my actions on his face.

We get it in...but its different than it usually is.  He didn't sex me, stroke me, make love to me or anything along those lines...he fucked me.  He pounded me from every position until my walls were swollen.  Don't get me wrong, I love me some dirty whore sex as much as the next one, and this shit was good...just different from his usual self...and at times it was even a lil awkward. Nonetheless, electrifying and gratifying.  That burning of inner-whoreness finding a short release.     He got it from the back, the nono area...and I had a ground breaking orgasm.  I needed that.  He must have been dreaming about this.  Good, I have been too.  Although I can fantasize and touch myself fondly thinking of any man , it is him and his cock that usually manages to creep into my personal time.

We layed in bed and attempted some empty pillow talk. What is it about this guy that I just can't seem to speak around him?  I generally get pretty far with my witty quips, none of which are evoked by him. Every word that comes out of my mouth when I speak to him is filled with dumb-assness and even some stuttering.   Apparently. the only completely clear message I can send to him is just fuck me.  At that moment, I couldn't see how that previous emotional attachment thing happened and I finally realized, yes this IS and HAS BEEN just sex. Maybe it was the dirty whore sex that brought about that anti-cuddly feeling...if so, thank you sex gods.  I needed that.

Round 2 was a little more typical of us...more sensual and teasing.  I swear my pussy took on a life of its own.  It quivered with every stroke...he must've felt it because he just stopped and layed in it motionless for a while.  Fantastic.  I'm selfish.  I asked him to go back down on me.  I love for my pussy to be worshiped, appreciated in a way only a man who acknowledges the beauty and power of having that sweet juice flow onto his tongue could.  I got all I asked for.

I kept cuddle time to a minimum. After all, we are only fuck buddies, not even friends with benefits. In fact, I've vowed to cut him off time and time again.  We stretched away from each other, fluffed the pillows and slipped into sweet post-coital slumber.  I recall having some crazy dreams which awoke me.  When I did, I realized this motherfucker had put a body pillow in between us.  WTF??  I woke him and asked him wtf is with the barrier between us??  He grabbed the pillow and tossed it.  Seriously though...WTF??  Maybe I farted on him.  Maybe I smacked him.  Maybe I snored in his face...who knows.  But I have to admit, I appreciate the boundary to some extent.

And why why why does Assclown insist upon leaving his shit at my house?!?  Marking territory?  I took pride in tossing his toothbrush into the trashcan this morning. The only thing I want left behind is hot memories of sexcapades past to add to the spank bank.

So, I am undecided.  Can Assclown/Mr.MD remain in my life as my dick in a glass case despite harsh feelings and a broken history??  I'm so excited!  I think I can handle it!  
  

I would like to take this opportunity to...

Procrastinate from the day's tasks of higher priority.  Gripe.  Vent.  Get this assclown out of my system once and for all.  Bastard. 

Lets have a brief word about "Mr. MD."  No, he is not a medical doctor.  However, thats the name I used to fondly use to refer to him when gossiping to my homies.  Now he is commonly referred to as "this asshole," "this motherfucker" and other pet names of which are just as sweet.  The friends will then have to pay attention to context clues to decipher what asshole I am referring to, but its all in fun.

Ok, we have a past history.  We have the whole long distance thing.  We have the amazing conversations and promising tomorrows.  I can admit, at one point I thought he just may be the end all of dating.  I could actually envision myself playing submissive good wife, soccer mom (to my two and his three), Martha Stewart, and permanent sucker of his handsome cock.  All this of course never materialized...but its ok.

Current past history: friends with benefits...or something like that.  He liked to use the term 'friends' for his own morals I'm sure.  But it was more like a regular filling of extremely passionate sex that I need...and even a glimpse of what coulda woulda shoulda been between us.  The sex?  That was the kind that might just bring a single tear to your eye; it was just that good. And the kind of loving infatuation that will have you question the idea of love. 

His status: Taken.  He is not the best catch.  He lives at home with his parents, (can't exactly blame him, they have an amazing house), with his kids, a mediocre job, and an approaching receding hair line and gut.  He has a dry sense of humor, a limited conversation ability.  Did I mention he is taken?  Can't say his man member had nothing to do with me holding on for so long, in fact I think that just have been the main reason.  Second would be his obvious adoration for me.  Oh, goodness he was certainly just as addicted to me as I was to him.   Yep, he went back to his babymama, inspite of the never ending drama.  Can I blame him?  She puts up with all his shit.  She wants him more...hunny keep him!  I just wanted the pieces that I wanted, some of which he couldn't provide me with.  One night, after heavy solitary drinking, he answered a text from me by saying he couldn't talk because he was with her. Since I usually made myself available to him as needed, I kept it interesting.  She then proceeded to text me from her phone.  I decided, during that moment of blissful alcohol induced liberation, to blame her for what little I was getting from him.  I told her that since I have been his whore for the past few months, I would like back pay.  Lets say 50 times in the past few months of doing her dirty work... between the two of them, they owe me about $5000, but at least I was willing to negotiate.  Nice.  He was not too thrilled with this.  Neither one of them met me at an ATM.

Current status: finito.  With the exception of blackout-drunk-rip-your-clothes-off-at-the door sex, and finish the deed sex midday a few days later...thats about it.  Might I add, I am expecting a mother of the year award for that one there.  I left the door unlocked that night when we came in, and the kids arrived home the next morning and walked in to find clothes strewn all over the place, and mom with unwelcome company in her bed.  Nice.  He has text me a few times with the I miss you bullshit.  Um, of course you would.  But you are an assclown.  There are so many better fish in the sea.  Those who could keep me satisfied on other levels.

But why am I still sentimental and nostalgic about last Thanksgiving, which we spent together?  I guess I kind of expected a call or text reflecting the same.  I am positive the thought has crossed his mind...and will surely get it after the weekend with the wifey comes to close...and I am almost  positive at this point I will apply the NO CONTACT RULE of band-aid ripping and ignore all contact...BUT  I just want to see it.  Call me crazy.  Call me what you will.  Love sucks.  Actually, lustfull infatuation with what you don't even really want but cant have sucks.  But fuck it.  Good bye Mr. MD, we've been each others' bad habits for long enough.



I will just have to live with the lack of sex for now.  Every situation is indeed only temporary right?  The fact that living without orgasm makes me undeniable stupid doesn't help.  I lack the ability to make the simplest of logical decisions when I suffer from lack of dick.  There are some great prospects on the horizon, but I must at least attempt to be a good girl.  I has only been 2 weeks or so.