Big girls like toys too! Part 4

If there is a Part 4, there are also parts 1-3.  Read em.

Back at it again.  First, my rabbit arrived safely.  I canceled plans with Assclown and went with my intuition that this is something that should be explored alone.

I scrounged around for the FOUR double A batteries my new pet requires.  I meticulously washed the chemical smelling, pink silicone and broke out the lube.

HERE WE GO.  I powered that bad boy up and OMG this thing is scary!  As you increase the intensity of the vibe, the lights on the control panel move up and down like a high tech stimulation meter.

It took a little while for me to get aroused.  I'm just saying, it is difficult to get over the idea of fucking a robot.  There are three controls : one for the 'rabbit ears', one for the vibe on the head of the dildo, and one for the thrusting motion of the dildo.  This is a bit overwhelming.

When I did finally get it there to cum-pletion, the verdict is in.  Yeah, that was fun.  But certainly not by any means a replacement for anything.

Big girls like toys too! Part I

I've mentioned the 'loss of fizzle' in previous posts.  When it comes to anything that excites, it is also likely to disappoint.  I also mentioned my purchase of anal beads and impatient frenzy about them.   I really wanted this to be a good thing. 

Of course, Assclown is DAYS late.  Whole, long, pussy pulsating with intolerant anticipation kind of days.  However, I needed a release, so I graciously accepted the offer of a full body, hot oil rub down and a serendipity orgasm.

He texts me to come to the door.  He hasn't even gotten out of the car yet.  Inconsiderate a-hole.  He meets me on the couch and complements me on my hair.  Aww...but I think its kinda gay he noticed the asymmetrical mastery of my bangs.

Skip the friggin small talk.  Its really overplayed. But I must play nice.




We finally make our way to the bedroom, and I toss him my red satin bag of tricks, complete with my new purchases.  I swear, you could actually see the gleaming excitement radiating from his large hands as he ruffled through the bag and tossed the anal beads on the comforter.  He popped open the package and asked me to go wash it. 

Game on!  We begin to get busy.  He grabs the cherry lube and goes for my ass .  In the heat of the moment, I didn't have the heart to tell him the beads were for HIM.  Part of the excitement fizzled right there.  He pops them in and immediately pulls them out.  Although I'm very stimulated by this point, there wasn't too much to it.  It was kinda, well, blah.  I instruct him to put them back in, then go down on me and pull them out at the very moment of my climax.  He likes this idea.

He slithers down my smooth, milky thighs and flicks his tongue over my throbbing clitoris.  I moan with appreciation.
YES!  I am a lucky bitch.  Mmm I love the way he devours me.
 My back arches.  My quickening pants let him know I'm just about there.  He comes up and mounts me.
Fuck!  I was almost there!
He thruts me deep and completely.  I grind back and begin to release, and here it cummssssss...
BAM!  He pulls out and nuts right on my slit.  I reach down and attempt to rub the juices around my anxious pussy and make my way into oblivion.
Thanks a fucking lot.  For almost nothing.
He grabs a vibe bullet and attempts to bring it out my final blast of wetness.  No can do.  I beg for him to FUCK me.  I mean after all, I could do all the playing with toys shit on my own.  And get it done a lot faster.

AND...he forgot all about the anal beads dangling out of my ass.
I guess its my fault for getting over excited to play with toys.  Kind of like that toy you wanted sooooo bad because it looked so fucking awesome on a commercial, but really was waste of unbiodegradable space.  The excitement fizzled.  And it was beginning to look like the my romance with Mr. Assclown was going to twirl its way down the drain as well.  If he can't even make me explode anymore...

 

Chicken Soup for the Slut.

Whew its been a while.  The Holidays are throwing me all around every which direction.  Anywho...
Had an interesting experience last week.  So I went out with LegalAid a handful of times...not very eventful, but a cool sexy guy.  So he goes on to tell me he is sick, and I tell him that he needs some of my homemade soup for a cure.  To my surprise, he accepts my offer.  Hey, why not?  Its cute...

So I arrive at his condo with some hot soup and a bottle of wine.  He hands me a glass and he enjoys the soup.  We watch a movie, as I polish off the entire bottle by myself (oops).  I mean, I needed some kind of entertainment other than the crappy B-list movie.  I was hoping for some cuddle time, however he was pretty distant and I didn't even feel up to initiating anything.  We had a nice passionate kiss...and well that was about it.
He turns to me and says..."well young lady, its just about my bed time."

Yep, thats bad.  Micheal Jackson bad.
Never in my life...
Ok, so there was no sparks.  No nada.  What happened?  I thought it was all good!  I was pissed.  I wanted a refund on my childcare fees for the night.  Ah, live and learn.

I spoke to him the next day online.  I'm bold, and tell him I'm disappointed that he is not into cuddling.  His reply? "Eh, cuddling is ok, but I prefer rolling around,  Naked.  Sex."

Interesting.  The guy must have thought I just roll like 'that drunk girl' as in get nice and sloshed and jump on da dick.  I got the nice n sloshed part down...but I wont just run the next part like that.  Very interesting...