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Ok blog land. I woke up one morning last week, and decided, "Hey, pain is pleasure! I wanna get my nipples pierced!"
I did it. I recruited not one, but two girl friends to come with, who also decided to get theirs pierced as well. It was quite an experience. I guess I have untapped leadership qualities.
I did have a gyno appointment early Friday morning, so maybe that was kinda tacky. One of my girls rolled with me to the coochie doctor. We hit up the BP gas station for a white grape cigarillo and twisted a fatti in a Burger King drive thru. Again, I reiterate, I am one CLASSY bitch!
The burger was gross, and I dropped my onion rings on the floor. They landed in a straight line of O's. Nice. Side note, multi tasking with one dead TomTom, DROID and its ridiculous demands, while smoking some kush and driving somewhere you've never been is not the wisest of choices.
We arrived only a half hour late, after driving in a 5 mile circle. Twice. We met up with Ms.Beauty and headed into the shop.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Big girls like toys too! Part 2
Read part one HERE.
Of course, Mr. MD Assclown can't let it go down like that. He could never leave me unsatisfied. After some work on my behalf, I was able to have him rise back up to the occasion. I threw him back, and stretched the Double Screaming O cockring over his shaft and balls. He quivered. I hopped on top an grinded my way to a quaking orgasm. It didn't happen immediately, unfortunately. As I smacked my supple ass back and forth, and tensed my vaginal walls with each thrust, my perky titties ended up in his mouth with each movement forward. I found myself dreaming about my sexcapade with C.O. and how my mind blowing O came into fruition when he BIT my NIPS!
"Bite my nipples, Baby. No! Harder! I said BITE them, harder! Harder!"
God, I hate when people can't follow simple directions!
He finally nibbled on them with just the right intensity and I blasted off and squirted my honeysuckle juices all over his writhing cock, and he followed suit. Thank you very much. I loved how the vibes from the ring sent aftershocks of barely tolerant bliss throughout my whole body.
Next stop: Pillow talk
ME: So...why wouldn't you just BITE my fuggin nipples like I begged you to?
AC: Well, I don't wanna hurt you baby, I don't wanna inflict pain.
ME: Seriously?? MAN UP! I WANTED that! Besides, you FUCK me in the ASS don't you? That is the lamest excuse ever!
AC: Hahaha true. Ok baby, you got it. Ok so we gotta order our next set of toys.
ME: Yes, I want my RABBIT. ASAP.
AC: Ok, so your pink rabbit, and I want a good cock ring, that will hopefully prevent me from prematurely blowing my load. Since it is taking forever for us to find a time to go to the shop together...lets just order online. You find it, and I will just give you my credit card info.
ME: Sounds good to me. I will pay for rush shipping!
Ok, fantastic. But I wonder if he realizes he is purchasing his replacement? Also, I wonder how upset he would get if I did a little extra 'me' shopping with his numbers??
Can't wait for my new pet rabbit to arrive. Big girls love toys too.
Of course, Mr. MD Assclown can't let it go down like that. He could never leave me unsatisfied. After some work on my behalf, I was able to have him rise back up to the occasion. I threw him back, and stretched the Double Screaming O cockring over his shaft and balls. He quivered. I hopped on top an grinded my way to a quaking orgasm. It didn't happen immediately, unfortunately. As I smacked my supple ass back and forth, and tensed my vaginal walls with each thrust, my perky titties ended up in his mouth with each movement forward. I found myself dreaming about my sexcapade with C.O. and how my mind blowing O came into fruition when he BIT my NIPS!
"Bite my nipples, Baby. No! Harder! I said BITE them, harder! Harder!"
God, I hate when people can't follow simple directions!
He finally nibbled on them with just the right intensity and I blasted off and squirted my honeysuckle juices all over his writhing cock, and he followed suit. Thank you very much. I loved how the vibes from the ring sent aftershocks of barely tolerant bliss throughout my whole body.
Next stop: Pillow talk
ME: So...why wouldn't you just BITE my fuggin nipples like I begged you to?
AC: Well, I don't wanna hurt you baby, I don't wanna inflict pain.
ME: Seriously?? MAN UP! I WANTED that! Besides, you FUCK me in the ASS don't you? That is the lamest excuse ever!
AC: Hahaha true. Ok baby, you got it. Ok so we gotta order our next set of toys.
ME: Yes, I want my RABBIT. ASAP.
AC: Ok, so your pink rabbit, and I want a good cock ring, that will hopefully prevent me from prematurely blowing my load. Since it is taking forever for us to find a time to go to the shop together...lets just order online. You find it, and I will just give you my credit card info.
ME: Sounds good to me. I will pay for rush shipping!
Ok, fantastic. But I wonder if he realizes he is purchasing his replacement? Also, I wonder how upset he would get if I did a little extra 'me' shopping with his numbers??
Can't wait for my new pet rabbit to arrive. Big girls love toys too.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Big girls like toys too! Part I
I've mentioned the 'loss of fizzle' in previous posts. When it comes to anything that excites, it is also likely to disappoint. I also mentioned my purchase of anal beads and impatient frenzy about them. I really wanted this to be a good thing.
Of course, Assclown is DAYS late. Whole, long, pussy pulsating with intolerant anticipation kind of days. However, I needed a release, so I graciously accepted the offer of a full body, hot oil rub down and a serendipity orgasm.
He texts me to come to the door. He hasn't even gotten out of the car yet. Inconsiderate a-hole. He meets me on the couch and complements me on my hair. Aww...but I think its kinda gay he noticed the asymmetrical mastery of my bangs.
Skip the friggin small talk. Its really overplayed. But I must play nice.
We finally make our way to the bedroom, and I toss him my red satin bag of tricks, complete with my new purchases. I swear, you could actually see the gleaming excitement radiating from his large hands as he ruffled through the bag and tossed the anal beads on the comforter. He popped open the package and asked me to go wash it.
Game on! We begin to get busy. He grabs the cherry lube and goes for my ass . In the heat of the moment, I didn't have the heart to tell him the beads were for HIM. Part of the excitement fizzled right there. He pops them in and immediately pulls them out. Although I'm very stimulated by this point, there wasn't too much to it. It was kinda, well, blah. I instruct him to put them back in, then go down on me and pull them out at the very moment of my climax. He likes this idea.
He slithers down my smooth, milky thighs and flicks his tongue over my throbbing clitoris. I moan with appreciation.
YES! I am a lucky bitch. Mmm I love the way he devours me.
My back arches. My quickening pants let him know I'm just about there. He comes up and mounts me.
Fuck! I was almost there!
He thruts me deep and completely. I grind back and begin to release, and here it cummssssss...
BAM! He pulls out and nuts right on my slit. I reach down and attempt to rub the juices around my anxious pussy and make my way into oblivion.
Thanks a fucking lot. For almost nothing.
He grabs a vibe bullet and attempts to bring it out my final blast of wetness. No can do. I beg for him to FUCK me. I mean after all, I could do all the playing with toys shit on my own. And get it done a lot faster.
AND...he forgot all about the anal beads dangling out of my ass.
I guess its my fault for getting over excited to play with toys. Kind of like that toy you wanted sooooo bad because it looked so fucking awesome on a commercial, but really was waste of unbiodegradable space. The excitement fizzled. And it was beginning to look like the my romance with Mr. Assclown was going to twirl its way down the drain as well. If he can't even make me explode anymore...
Of course, Assclown is DAYS late. Whole, long, pussy pulsating with intolerant anticipation kind of days. However, I needed a release, so I graciously accepted the offer of a full body, hot oil rub down and a serendipity orgasm.
He texts me to come to the door. He hasn't even gotten out of the car yet. Inconsiderate a-hole. He meets me on the couch and complements me on my hair. Aww...but I think its kinda gay he noticed the asymmetrical mastery of my bangs.
Skip the friggin small talk. Its really overplayed. But I must play nice.
We finally make our way to the bedroom, and I toss him my red satin bag of tricks, complete with my new purchases. I swear, you could actually see the gleaming excitement radiating from his large hands as he ruffled through the bag and tossed the anal beads on the comforter. He popped open the package and asked me to go wash it.
Game on! We begin to get busy. He grabs the cherry lube and goes for my ass . In the heat of the moment, I didn't have the heart to tell him the beads were for HIM. Part of the excitement fizzled right there. He pops them in and immediately pulls them out. Although I'm very stimulated by this point, there wasn't too much to it. It was kinda, well, blah. I instruct him to put them back in, then go down on me and pull them out at the very moment of my climax. He likes this idea.
He slithers down my smooth, milky thighs and flicks his tongue over my throbbing clitoris. I moan with appreciation.
YES! I am a lucky bitch. Mmm I love the way he devours me.
My back arches. My quickening pants let him know I'm just about there. He comes up and mounts me.
Fuck! I was almost there!
He thruts me deep and completely. I grind back and begin to release, and here it cummssssss...
BAM! He pulls out and nuts right on my slit. I reach down and attempt to rub the juices around my anxious pussy and make my way into oblivion.
Thanks a fucking lot. For almost nothing.
He grabs a vibe bullet and attempts to bring it out my final blast of wetness. No can do. I beg for him to FUCK me. I mean after all, I could do all the playing with toys shit on my own. And get it done a lot faster.
AND...he forgot all about the anal beads dangling out of my ass.
I guess its my fault for getting over excited to play with toys. Kind of like that toy you wanted sooooo bad because it looked so fucking awesome on a commercial, but really was waste of unbiodegradable space. The excitement fizzled. And it was beginning to look like the my romance with Mr. Assclown was going to twirl its way down the drain as well. If he can't even make me explode anymore...
Toot Toot *a quikie*
Ok, so I'm not one to toot my own horn (yeah, aight!) but...I'm pumped. I recieved four seperate requests to update my blog. Yea!! I shall never disappoint, girl scouts honor. For the record, I was a girl scout only for about a month when I was in first grade, but my parents pulled me out when I tossed my desk over in class.
Good girls rarely make history.
The other day I got an invite from a sweetie to catch a movie. Sweet! I made an attempt with my appearance. It felt sooooo good after a 15 day snowcation, in which I basically lived in sweats and busted ass in the kitchen. Good news is, although I spent two weeks smoking good weed and eating hella goodies, I STILL dropped a jeans size, and grew half a cup size. Strange but true. Anyway...
Good girls rarely make history.
The other day I got an invite from a sweetie to catch a movie. Sweet! I made an attempt with my appearance. It felt sooooo good after a 15 day snowcation, in which I basically lived in sweats and busted ass in the kitchen. Good news is, although I spent two weeks smoking good weed and eating hella goodies, I STILL dropped a jeans size, and grew half a cup size. Strange but true. Anyway...
Sunday, February 14, 2010
WTF Was that?
So after the chicken soup incident, I had no expectations of creating anything special with the law-ya. I mean, after the first two dates, decent email/text/face to face conversations, and very obvious sparks with the first kiss...the being sent home thing was pretty much all I needed to know.
However, the madness of the holidays only stretched out the inevitable, and he had obvious intentions of getting it poppin, one way or another. We began to text more regularly and exchanged some pics. Wow. Thats all I gotta say.
A little more backround... this guys is A-1 specimen. He can respect my hustle and struggle as a single mom. He was raised very similar to how I'm raising my boys. He clocked basketball scholarships that got him up and out...made it through law school...got him a trophy wife...made some babies...and is now young, sexy and single...and now considering going conquering medical school. Score.
After the pic exchange, I decided wow, I really want that. His body was cut. His bald head smooth. His long shafted penis gleaming in the token iphone mirror pic that graced my cell screen in my dark, warm bed was very pleasing to the eyes. I enjoyed...immensely.
However, the madness of the holidays only stretched out the inevitable, and he had obvious intentions of getting it poppin, one way or another. We began to text more regularly and exchanged some pics. Wow. Thats all I gotta say.
A little more backround... this guys is A-1 specimen. He can respect my hustle and struggle as a single mom. He was raised very similar to how I'm raising my boys. He clocked basketball scholarships that got him up and out...made it through law school...got him a trophy wife...made some babies...and is now young, sexy and single...and now considering going conquering medical school. Score.
After the pic exchange, I decided wow, I really want that. His body was cut. His bald head smooth. His long shafted penis gleaming in the token iphone mirror pic that graced my cell screen in my dark, warm bed was very pleasing to the eyes. I enjoyed...immensely.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Hello, can you hear me now??
After a pretty crazy snowcation, I had the opportunity to have an evening out with one of my homegirls. Right on time. However, she just purchased a Droid. I immediately told her it is the devil in disguise and she must dispose of it immeditately. But, she loves it! So now ladies night turns into "train my Droid" night. Good thing I love her!
We walked into Cheesecake Factory, excited to split an entree built for three queens and some yummy over-priced martinis. This is not the greatest idea on a Friday night, the first weekend in three weeks where snow is not keeping the population indoors, on Valentine's day weekend. Of course, there is a fourty five minute wait. So not worth it for mediocre chain restaurant food, in my humble opinion, but I guess many would disagree.
(On a side note, me and Ms.Beauty decide to skip the wait, get some food court crap cause its cheaper anyway and we would have more money for booze, buy new bluetooths, hit the Vicky's sale and hit the liquor store before headed back to the house. I love being such a classy bitch!)
The vestibule and cheesecake counter is packed to the brim with bubbly couples and first dates. You could feel the Valentine's rush in the air. New hopeful couples and cute couples and singles ready to discuss their recent encounters and possibilities, or wallow in the pitiful hole of "IDon'tHaveAValentinesDayDateSyndrome."
We walked into Cheesecake Factory, excited to split an entree built for three queens and some yummy over-priced martinis. This is not the greatest idea on a Friday night, the first weekend in three weeks where snow is not keeping the population indoors, on Valentine's day weekend. Of course, there is a fourty five minute wait. So not worth it for mediocre chain restaurant food, in my humble opinion, but I guess many would disagree.
(On a side note, me and Ms.Beauty decide to skip the wait, get some food court crap cause its cheaper anyway and we would have more money for booze, buy new bluetooths, hit the Vicky's sale and hit the liquor store before headed back to the house. I love being such a classy bitch!)
The vestibule and cheesecake counter is packed to the brim with bubbly couples and first dates. You could feel the Valentine's rush in the air. New hopeful couples and cute couples and singles ready to discuss their recent encounters and possibilities, or wallow in the pitiful hole of "IDon'tHaveAValentinesDayDateSyndrome."
Friday, February 12, 2010
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