Big girls like toys too! Part I

I've mentioned the 'loss of fizzle' in previous posts.  When it comes to anything that excites, it is also likely to disappoint.  I also mentioned my purchase of anal beads and impatient frenzy about them.   I really wanted this to be a good thing. 

Of course, Assclown is DAYS late.  Whole, long, pussy pulsating with intolerant anticipation kind of days.  However, I needed a release, so I graciously accepted the offer of a full body, hot oil rub down and a serendipity orgasm.

He texts me to come to the door.  He hasn't even gotten out of the car yet.  Inconsiderate a-hole.  He meets me on the couch and complements me on my hair.  Aww...but I think its kinda gay he noticed the asymmetrical mastery of my bangs.

Skip the friggin small talk.  Its really overplayed. But I must play nice.




We finally make our way to the bedroom, and I toss him my red satin bag of tricks, complete with my new purchases.  I swear, you could actually see the gleaming excitement radiating from his large hands as he ruffled through the bag and tossed the anal beads on the comforter.  He popped open the package and asked me to go wash it. 

Game on!  We begin to get busy.  He grabs the cherry lube and goes for my ass .  In the heat of the moment, I didn't have the heart to tell him the beads were for HIM.  Part of the excitement fizzled right there.  He pops them in and immediately pulls them out.  Although I'm very stimulated by this point, there wasn't too much to it.  It was kinda, well, blah.  I instruct him to put them back in, then go down on me and pull them out at the very moment of my climax.  He likes this idea.

He slithers down my smooth, milky thighs and flicks his tongue over my throbbing clitoris.  I moan with appreciation.
YES!  I am a lucky bitch.  Mmm I love the way he devours me.
 My back arches.  My quickening pants let him know I'm just about there.  He comes up and mounts me.
Fuck!  I was almost there!
He thruts me deep and completely.  I grind back and begin to release, and here it cummssssss...
BAM!  He pulls out and nuts right on my slit.  I reach down and attempt to rub the juices around my anxious pussy and make my way into oblivion.
Thanks a fucking lot.  For almost nothing.
He grabs a vibe bullet and attempts to bring it out my final blast of wetness.  No can do.  I beg for him to FUCK me.  I mean after all, I could do all the playing with toys shit on my own.  And get it done a lot faster.

AND...he forgot all about the anal beads dangling out of my ass.
I guess its my fault for getting over excited to play with toys.  Kind of like that toy you wanted sooooo bad because it looked so fucking awesome on a commercial, but really was waste of unbiodegradable space.  The excitement fizzled.  And it was beginning to look like the my romance with Mr. Assclown was going to twirl its way down the drain as well.  If he can't even make me explode anymore...

 

Toot Toot *a quikie*

Ok, so I'm not one to toot my own horn (yeah, aight!) but...I'm pumped.  I recieved four seperate requests to update my blog.  Yea!!  I shall never disappoint, girl scouts honor.  For the record, I was a girl scout only for about a month when I was in first grade, but my parents pulled me out when I tossed my desk over in class.

Good girls rarely make history.

The other day I got an invite from a sweetie to catch a movie.  Sweet!  I made an attempt with my appearance. It felt sooooo good after a 15 day snowcation, in which I basically lived in sweats and busted ass in the kitchen.  Good news is, although I spent two weeks smoking good weed and eating hella goodies, I STILL dropped a jeans size, and grew half a cup size.  Strange but true.  Anyway...

WTF Was that?

So after the chicken soup incident, I had no expectations of creating anything special with the law-ya.  I mean, after the first two dates, decent email/text/face to face conversations, and very obvious sparks with the first kiss...the being sent home thing was pretty much all I needed to know.

However, the madness of the holidays only stretched out the inevitable, and he had obvious intentions of getting it poppin, one way or another.  We began to text more regularly and exchanged some pics.  Wow.  Thats all I gotta say.

A little more backround... this guys is A-1 specimen.  He can respect my hustle and struggle as a single mom.  He was raised very similar to how I'm raising my boys.  He clocked basketball scholarships that got him up and out...made it through law school...got him a trophy wife...made some babies...and is now young, sexy and single...and now considering going conquering medical school.  Score.

After the pic exchange, I decided wow, I really want that.  His body was cut.  His bald head smooth.  His long shafted penis gleaming in the token iphone mirror pic that graced my cell screen in my dark, warm bed was very pleasing to the eyes.  I enjoyed...immensely.

Hello, can you hear me now??

After a pretty crazy snowcation, I had the opportunity to have an evening out with one of my homegirls.  Right on time.  However, she just purchased a Droid.  I immediately told her it is the devil in disguise and she must dispose of it immeditately.  But, she loves it!  So now ladies night turns into "train my Droid" night.  Good thing I love her!

 

We walked into Cheesecake Factory, excited to split an entree built for three queens and some yummy over-priced martinis.  This is not the greatest idea on a Friday night, the first weekend in three weeks where snow is not keeping the population indoors, on Valentine's day weekend.  Of course, there is a fourty five minute wait.  So not worth it for mediocre chain restaurant food, in my humble opinion, but I guess many would disagree.

(On a side note, me and Ms.Beauty decide to skip the wait, get some food court crap cause its cheaper anyway and we would have more money for booze, buy new bluetooths, hit the Vicky's sale and hit the liquor store before headed back to the house. I love being such a classy bitch!)

The vestibule and cheesecake counter is packed to the brim with bubbly couples and first dates.  You could feel the Valentine's rush in the air. New hopeful couples and cute couples and singles ready to discuss their recent encounters and possibilities, or wallow in the pitiful hole of "IDon'tHaveAValentinesDayDateSyndrome."  

Miz. Indecisive: Let it snow, Let it snow.

Miz. Indecisive: Let it snow, Let it snow.

Let it snow, Let it snow.

C.O. has been on my mind ever since I explored that smooth chocolate body and rock hard cock.  Patience is a virtue, but I am not exactly a pinnacle of virtue. So last time we hooked up (misadventures and Mike and Ikes.)  we discussed enjoying the next snow-in together.  And we made it happen.  I invited him into my world, temporarily...

Booboo is on point.  He comes prepared.  Quarter of some yummy exotic buddz.  Fifth of the Hennesey.  Double Coronas. And Seven sevenths of chocolate dutchie rillos for twisting.  Hey, thats a lucky number.  (And of course, a whole big cock paired with two gold wrapper-magnums, which fit the him like they were eloquently tailored to do so by Ralph Lauren himself.)  Match to what I had cooking up for the evening I was expected to be spending on me...well its all good.

I got the kids settled and its time for chillaxin time.  His purpose...he just want me to relax.  Easier said then done in my world, but I'm diggin it...and then some.  Im trying so hard not to be rude...but I am in fact an icy hearted bitter bitch at this point.

Fact of the matter is, this is a fine specimen He's just perfectly laid back, with a gorgeous smile, well adjusted attitude, and a ridiculous amount of exuded sexiness.  Grown man status too, manages his own.  I like the possibilities.

Some how he reminds me of the good old back in the days.  Cruisin around with a fly azz nigga, sexy with his half shut eyelids.  Surrounded by sweet sess smoke and clouded vision on a sunny day.  

Why the assclown might just be an ASS-CLOWN.

The term assclown refers to a simple, unavailable, emotionally challenged asshole, who keeps you holding on by taking advantage of your weaknesses, purely to stroke his own ego and and stroke your vajajay at his calling. 

I highly recommend taking a peek at baggagereclaim.com if you are dealing with this kind of situation. 

Anyway, back to the juice.  So we are getting it in.  Im enjoying my drinks for the evening.  He is enjoying caressing my milky smooth thighs.  I can't help but get absorbed into my own bliss of his appreciation for my body.  He doesn't mind the belly and the other flaws, he makes sure to get to every inch and crevice and show his lustful hunger for it all.  Mmm.

We get busy with the body oils. Flavored lubes.  Its usually all about me.  This time, I wanted to show him how much i love him and his cock.  My buddy.  He sent me a pic a few days before that.  He asked me to delete it.  I said hell no, thats about to be my new wallpaper, I love that cock!

I read some bit on erotic massage that afternoon before he came over.  The man's toes were curling.  I made his cock feel like it was ten fold worth its weight in gold.  And covered in melted chocolate cherry fondue.  And I dipped in with the finest fruit.

But then it happened.  The man cocked his legs up.  Like a bitch.