Toot Toot *a quikie*

Ok, so I'm not one to toot my own horn (yeah, aight!) but...I'm pumped.  I recieved four seperate requests to update my blog.  Yea!!  I shall never disappoint, girl scouts honor.  For the record, I was a girl scout only for about a month when I was in first grade, but my parents pulled me out when I tossed my desk over in class.

Good girls rarely make history.

The other day I got an invite from a sweetie to catch a movie.  Sweet!  I made an attempt with my appearance. It felt sooooo good after a 15 day snowcation, in which I basically lived in sweats and busted ass in the kitchen.  Good news is, although I spent two weeks smoking good weed and eating hella goodies, I STILL dropped a jeans size, and grew half a cup size.  Strange but true.  Anyway...



I'm checkin myself in the mirror, on the phone like "damn girl, my butt gettin big!"  But my nails...ugh.  How could I just let it all go like that?  Awful.  They looked like I attempted a self manicure with a sand blaster.  Recollecting my second date with LegalAid, I was so pumped he complemented me on my beautiful nails, and noticed that I had changed the color less than a week later.  He asked how often I 'go' for manicures.  Well baby, independent ladies do it best, themselves!

So the only thing left to do was throw some color on these sausage lookin hands.  I hastily painted my nails a bright red.  Took me 3.6 minutes.  And ya know what?  They looked fresh.  Reminded me of a poem from an English Comp class...

So did I bore you to tears?  No worries, I will post JUICY bits later.  But c'mon, how much better does a well manicured, delicate hand looked wrapped around a big member or a slippery vagina?  (Ha! Member.) Gentlemen, If you can't see the analogy, imagine the hands of the most beastly bitch you've ever seen...with hairy, ashy knuckles, blistered fingertips, and GASP dirty, dingy, dung underneath...caressing your prized possessions.  YUK.

I SHALL PAINT MY NAILS RED
-Carole Satyamuriti

Because a bit of colour is a public service.
Because I am proud of my hands.
Because it will remind me I am a woman.
Because I will look like a survivor.
Because I can admire them in traffic jams.
Because my daughter will say ugh.
Because my lover will be surprised.
Because it is quicker than dying my hair.
Because it is a ten-minute moratorium.
Because it is reversible.

AND I SHALL PAINT MY NAILS...for the pure phantasmic satisfaction  of just how a money shot scene should excite! ~MizIndecisive