Big girls like toys too! Part 3

More toys.  So I ignorantly share with Assclown that I had a male friend over and he was currently washing my dishes and about to take out my garbage like a man with time and the ability to give attention does.  HA!  (This is another story, I'll get there one of these days...)  Anyway, here comes the questions.  Who?  Why?  Are you sleeping with him?
No, no, no.  As long as I am the 'lover' these questions are irrelevant.  Actually, he is cool peoples who happens to enjoy my company, and never fails to bring exotic marijuana to the table.  He fits right in for now, as I am re-exploring my burn-outness.  Assclown now expresses his 'concern' for me and my increasing reefer smoking.  Pssshht.  I don't think so buddy. 

Here come the texts 3 hrs later

AC: I just called you, you didn't answer.  Are you busy?
Oh, now this motherfucker wanna act like he doesn't know me, and how much I despise STUPID questions.  Stupid questions deserve stupid answers.
ME:  (hour later) Yes, as a matter of fact, I am busy.  I was just feeding my pet monkey.

Crickets.

So of course, he is concerned about me having a male friend at the house, and asks to stop by.  How bout later?  "I'm gonna stop at the toy store for goodies..."



Yep, of course I sign on to this event.  He arrives at the house with not one, but two bottles of wine.  Um, ok.  I suppose he wants me completely comfortable in my skin.  And he knows I'm a lush.  Yet, I am a little offended.

We actually talk, for hours.  He asks me the same questions he asked months ago.  Just shows he only pays attention to my ass.  And he pays pretty good attention to my kitty kat too.  It's ok.  I am not offended.

We ordered my new rabbit online.  SCORE.  This way, I picked it out and read reviews.  And I reiterated to him that he is in fact purchasing his replacement.  He laughs.  Keep laughing, bruh.

Bed time.  Lights on.  Toys out.  Tonight's ToysRus list: a french tickler vibe, purple, a tingling mint body massage oil, variety of cock rings (necessary to improve his stamina) and of course, my new nipple jewelry.

Begining play...I notice...a GREY PUBE!  O-M-G.  "Babe, what you want me to do?  I'm becoming an old man!"  "Um, I want you to go get the fuckin tweezers out of my vanity!"  GROSS!  (But too funny).

Next, some crazy mexican song blares out my iHome speakers.  I crave tacos.  I ask him if he agrees, and I don't believe he felt the same way.  Anyway...

After multiple tumbles, and toy play, and screaming, and digging, and jumping, and jamming, and even threw in some porn flicks...I could NOT reach an orgasm.

Confession.  I faked it.  I was on top, arched my back and quivered my voice.  I intermittently slowed and pursued and even clenched (yes, thank you kegels!).  Although I was a great actress, I could see in his face, he new I was faking.  And he was hurt.  This NEVER happened with us.  Never.  I could actually feel his discomfort.  How sad.

So what IS this?  Over stimulation?  Receding intimacy?  Boredom?

My rabbit was delivered today.  Although my better judgment tells me to just go ahead and introduce myself to my new dick, by myself, he is coming over tonight to check it out.  Maybe for safety.  Wish me the best, mind blowing O please.  Its now days overdue.